Thursday, October 31, 2024

Healing Together: Strategies for Couples Dealing with Depression


Hello, Jhana’s supporters! It’s your disability advocate and writer, Jhana. I hope you’re all doing well. To be completely honest, posting constantly does not seem to work. Also, publishing my pieces at 10 AM doesn’t seem to work either. Since my editor is in a different time zone (she is 11 hours ahead of me), it is sometimes hard to coordinate our schedules. As a result, it might be better to post my blogs at night, but I’m not sure yet. I am new to making schedules and sticking to them. As I’ve mentioned, I’m used to writing and posting randomly, so doing it more regularly will take some adjusting. I will try to post on Thursdays, but it might not always be at the same time.


In other news, I’ve revised my website for better access. I’ve also made some changes simply because I didn’t like how it looked and functioned. I also redid my YouTube videos after I was advised to put a touch of color on the wall visible in the background of my YouTube videos. So, my fiancĂ© bought me a tapestry and lights to hang around it. Now, it looks nice, as you can see in the picture below. 


Without further ado, let’s get into today’s blog post, in which I will talk about dealing with depression and supporting your significant other. 


Understanding Depression and Its Impact on Relationships


Dealing with depression is hard for anyone. But dealing with depression when you are in a relationship can be even more challenging. You have to figure out how to support your significant other through their depression and other difficulties. One of the things people go through is isolation and misunderstandings. It’s essential to recognize that depression is not one-sided; it can affect both partners in a relationship. That’s why understanding the symptoms of depression is crucial.


Depression can lead to miscommunication and misunderstandings. It can cause conflict in a relationship, making it necessary to approach the situation with compassion and patience. It’s vital to understand that depression is a psychological and mental condition, not a personal choice. 


Open Communication: The Key to Connection


Open communication is essential in every relationship, particularly in a romantic one. Practicing open communication is even more crucial when dealing with depression. Couples dealing with depression should create a safe space for each other where they can express their feelings without fear of judgment. Talking about your feelings and what you’re going through is healing. Going over the struggles, as well as the small victories that come with managing depression, can be highly beneficial.


There are several ways to develop healthy, open communication. For example, try setting aside regular times to talk with your significant other to ensure both partners feel heard and understood. Make sure to listen to one another to strengthen your relationship. 


When my fiancĂ© and I first started dating, I was afraid to talk to him about my feelings. Now, we’ve developed solid communication skills, and things have improved. 


Building a Supportive Environment for Healing


It is imperative to be in a supportive environment to heal from depression. That’s why it’s helpful to surround yourself with friends and family members who have your best interest at heart. Additionally, creating a routine can promote healing and mental well-being. For example, you can try exercising, journaling, or something completely different that works for you. Couples should work together to identify stressors in their lives and find ways to minimize them.


You should also express your appreciation for each other and celebrate one another’s achievements. If you think positively, there is less chance that you will think negatively. That way, you can decrease your risk of feeling depressed. 


Engaging in Activities Together to Boost Mood


Participating in enjoyable activities can help couples reconnect and improve their mood. You can start small, but make sure to choose things you both like and enjoy doing. For instance, try taking a walk, cooking together, or engaging in a hobby. These activities provide a welcoming distraction and foster closeness.


It’s better to find activities both partners will enjoy since you will be more engaged in what you’re doing. Personally, Robert and I don’t do any walking as a couple or anything like that. For us, talking about our depression works best.

Seeking Professional Help as a Couple


Some people think getting professional help as a couple is pointless, but I disagree. It can actually be beneficial. I know it’s true from personal experience because Rob and I each have a personal counselor, and then we have a couple’s counselor together. That way, we can work on our individual issues and then on problems as a couple.


Having a therapist can help couples improve communication and help them understand one another. A healthy discussion can positively impact the couple and help partners understand each other more. 


Image Via Pexels


Thursday, October 24, 2024

Navigating Depression in College



Hello, Jhana’s supporters! It’s your disability advocate and writer, Jhana. I hope you’re all doing well since I’m back with another blog post! 


As I’ve mentioned, I will try to write my blogs on Saturdays around 10:30 AM and post them every Thursday at 10 AM. I also have a quick announcement: I am working on my new YouTube channel and just finished revising my website. Now, I am writing short stories about disability and inclusion.


I haven’t figured out how often I will post my YouTube videos — right now, it will happen sporadically. Finding time to do things is hard when school takes up so much of my time.


I have six more months until graduation, and I am very excited. I might make my YouTube videos every weekend, but I don't know yet. I will let you know my plans when I figure things out. Now, let's get into today’s blog article. 


I usually talk about physical and invisible disabilities. Because of that, I have never really talked about depression. So today, I want to talk about dealing with depression in college. It’s vital to discover helpful strategies for dealing with depression so that you can have a better college experience. 


Understanding Depression in the College Context


College can be a challenging time for many students. Academic pressure, among other factors, can significantly contribute to depression. It can trigger depression symptoms and make coping with them much harder. College students are learning who they are and who they want to be, which can be both overwhelming and exciting. 


Recognizing the signs and stressors that students face is essential in acknowledging the importance of mental health care during this period. People who deal with depression can experience challenges that other people aren’t aware of. For example, they could be under a lot of pressure to succeed or deal with homesickness, financial burdens, and the challenge of balancing work and social life. All of these things can cause depression in college students.


Identifying Signs and Symptoms of Depression in Students


Depression can occur in many different ways. That’s why identifying its signs and symptoms is the most important step to asking for help. The signs could include sadness or hopelessness and a loss of interest in activities you used to enjoy. Most students will exhibit a decrease in academic performance as well. When someone is depressed, their performance at school suffers. There’s also the risk they might drop out of school because they feel like their depression won’t get any better.


I went to a college in California called Ashford University (now the University of Arizona Global Campus). When I was there, I wasn't doing so well. The work was super hard, and I had more reading than I was used to. I was trying to get my BA in Child Development. I didn’t care enough to do my FAFSA, so they withdrew me because my attendance suffered.


Then, a year and a half later, I decided to go back to school and change my degree to English. Unfortunately, it only lasted a couple of months because that was when my uncle passed away. After that, I took academic leave in hopes of returning a month later, but I was still depressed. So, I dropped out again because I was unhappy. 


Long story short, I found out about Full Sail University during my journey with depression, so I applied and got in. I won’t lie; I still get depressed. But I have a better handle on it. I am in the BFA in the Creative Writing program and graduate next year. Despite my depression, I am now a member of the honors society (NSCS), thanks to my GPA above 3.0. I know how to handle my depression and am determined to get my degree. So, I am pushing through it. 


Where You Can Find Help


Since I am an online college student, I don’t have the proper help from school. I have a counselor I see twice a month. I also used to talk to someone from hospice. Some instructors are very understanding and trained to help people with depression have a smooth college experience. But not all of them are.


That’s why it’s important to recognize the signs by yourself. Some people think asking for help is a sign of weakness. But the truth is asking for help is a sign of strength. So, don’t be afraid to ask for help. I used to be scared to ask for help, but I’ve learned that everyone needs support sometimes. 


Self-Help Strategies for Managing Depression in College


Aside from professional help, you can use self-help strategies. When dealing with depression, you could write down your feelings or take a walk. You should also learn how to make it a regular thing to prevent future depressive episodes. You can also cook your favorite meal or dessert and do deep breathing exercises that can reduce stress. 


Having supportive friends and family members who understand what you are going through is also extremely beneficial. 


How You Can Support a Friend Dealing with Depression


If you have a friend who is struggling with depression, it is up to you to help them. When helping them, make sure you do so without judgment. Be there for them and encourage them to get professional help. 


Respecting their privacy is crucial; if they don’t want to talk about it, don’t rush them. I know when I am depressed, I don’t ask for help until I am ready. So, be understanding of others.


And one last thing: There is nothing wrong with being depressed. It’s the way you handle it that makes the difference. 


 


Image Via Pexels


Thursday, October 17, 2024

Strategies for Managing Jealousy: When Living with Disability




Hello, Jhana’s supporters! It’s your disability advocate and writer, Jhana. I hope you’re all doing well. I’m sorry for not posting an article last week. I’m still trying my hardest to work on my blog posts once a week. I plan on writing on Saturdays to have my articles ready for my editor during the week. Then, I can publish them on Thursdays. 


I had a challenging class last month but passed with a D+. Now, I’ve started a new class that will hopefully be much better.


I also want to let you all know that I am revising my “Jhana’s Writing Journey” website. I will add new things and revise other stuff to make it better and more accessible. So, please stay tuned. Now, let’s get into today’s blog!


I’ve talked about so many things, from disability inclusion to why you should always stay true to who you are regardless of your disability. I’ve also talked about being in a relationship with a disability, but I have never discussed jealousy in a relationship when you have a disability.


Understanding the Roots of Jealousy in the Context of Disability


In my experience, jealousy usually happens when the partner with a disability is jealous of the partner without one. Jealousy occurs when you lack confidence and compassion. Jealousy can stem from various things, but it’s often a result of the differences between what the partner without a disability can do compared to the partner with one. Still, it’s important to remember that jealousy is a natural human emotion. It can happen whether a person has a disability or not, but the way you handle it is up to you. 


It’s a common misconception that only people with disabilities experience jealousy in relationships. But it is essential to understand that everyone deals with jealousy, no matter their health status. It doesn’t matter if you have a disability or not you should find a way to deal with these feelings. Personally, I found that having a more mature and constructive response to jealousy is helpful. For example, when someone made a comment about Rob cheating on me, I retorted back, “Are you cheating on me with my evil twin Jessica?” In this case, making a joke about the situation might boost your confidence.


Building Self-Compassion and Acceptance


Self-compassion means treating yourself with kindness and understanding, even through difficult times. It may be hard not to compare yourself to others when you have a disability. Individuals with disabilities may struggle with stigma or personal limitations. That’s why practicing self-compassion helps with accepting their disability in a relationship. 


Acceptance allows you to see through a situation without judgment, easing the burden of jealousy. Finding uniqueness in your journey takes time, but it can significantly strengthen your sense of peace and commitment. 



Creating a Supportive Community: Surrounding Yourself with Positivity

A support system helps you feel confident with your disability, improving your romantic relationship. So, make sure to surround yourself with positive people who provide encouragement. That’s another excellent way to reduce jealousy. Additionally, understanding friends and family members help boost your confidence. Since they understand your challenges, they can provide you with a nurturing environment. And that’s incredibly important.


It might also be a good idea to try support groups, both online and in person. These can help you build confidence and learn ways to manage your jealousy. After all, talking to someone who knows how you feel is a great way to cope with feelings and emotions. Sharing your experiences with others can help ease your jealousy and equip you with helpful coping techniques.


Practicing Gratitude: Shifting Focus from Lack to Abundance


Remember when I said I made a joke about Rob cheating on me? Well, joking like that helps me cope with jealousy and it may help you, too.


Another thing you can do is focus on what you have and not what you don’t have. It’s vital to try and shift your perspective from jealousy to acceptance and appreciation. To help with this, you can keep a gratitude journal or reflect on positive aspects of life. That can significantly boost your mental well-being. 


This practice can change your mindset and help you focus more on personal achievements and joy, whether big or small. 


Utilizing Mindfulness Techniques to Manage Emotional Responses


You may want to consider meditation and deep breathing. Personally, I don’t do that anymore, but these techniques can be very beneficial. Now, I use my feelings as I write books and articles. I put all my personal feelings into my characters and the storylines. To be honest, it sometimes helps, and it sometimes doesn’t. But it doesn’t mean I will stop writing about my feelings and emotions. It’s important to let your feelings out in a healthy way, so I will continue to do so. 


Lastly, having an optimistic mindset makes you learn and grow as a person. It also helps you build a stronger, healthier relationship and makes processing jealousy easier. Plus, it may help you have a better outlook on life. 





Image via Pexels

Thursday, October 3, 2024

Understanding Disability Discrimination in Relationships: Breaking the stigma

 



Hello, Jhana’s supporters! It’s your disability advocate and writer, Jhana. I hope you’re all doing well. Sorry for not being consistent with my blogs, articles, and vlogs. I’ve been busy with school, and it’s been taking up most of my time lately. Last month was particularly crazy — my teacher was rigorous and took a lot of my time. I’m also worried I won’t pass this class because I didn’t clearly understand what needed to be done. Now that that class is over, I am starting a new one, which I’m very excited about. 


That said, I want you all to know I am working hard to keep my blogs going regularly. I plan to write my blogs and articles on Saturdays and publish them on Thursdays. I’m also working hard every week on my articles for another platform called Unwritten. But as I said before, it’s tough coming up with topics to write about. I continually look for articles and topics on HubSpot that can help me. So far, it is working! 


Now, let’s get into today’s topic. People with disabilities face many challenges. One of them is navigating their partner’s feelings of uncertainty and discomfort with how to support them.

Common Misconceptions About Disabilities in Dating


The misconception in the nondisabled community is that people with disabilities can’t or don’t want to be in a committed relationship. In reality, those with disabilities are capable of being in meaningful relationships and connecting just like everyone else. The only difference is that people with disabilities may do things a little differently, and their sex drive may not be like everyone else's. They sometimes are able to have sex, but other times, their bodies are too sore, or they’re simply not interested anymore. I’ve learned that saying no is okay, even if some guys don’t like hearing it.


Another misconception is that people with disabilities require constant care and won’t be independent in relationships. It isn’t true and hinders people with disabilities. It affects those with physical disabilities more, as it can cause unnecessary feelings of hurt and doubt. 


Strategies for Building an Inclusive and Supportive Partnership


The best relationships require open communication and honesty about your and your partner’s needs, wants, and desires. People with disabilities should conquer the fear of expressing their wants and needs without judgment. 


When discussing someone's disabilities, it’s always important to talk about what they are and aren’t able to do. Communication is key to having a strong relationship.


Real Stories: Overcoming Stigma in Relationships with Disabilities


Many people with disabilities may share inspiring stories about love and what they like or don’t like. These often highlight the importance of resilience and self-advocacy. 


For example, couples may reflect on how they face judgment while growing stronger and fighting against being judged. 


Advocacy and Awareness: Creating Change for Future Generations 


When you’re in a relationship, it’s crucial to advocate for people with disabilities to create change and more possibilities for other healthy relationships. It’s also important to know that people with disabilities deserve equality. It can help spread awareness and empower those who also want to be in a committed relationship.


You should support and educate people with disabilities by informing nondisabled individuals that people with disabilities can be in a relationship — they just have to do things a little differently. 


People look at me and think that because of my physical disability, I am incapable of having an intimate relationship with someone. That’s yet another stigma I have to face. My advice is to never let anyone tell you who you are and who you can become. Don’t let others tell you you’re not able to be in a relationship because of your disability. You deserve to be happy. 



Saturday, September 21, 2024

Love Without Limits: Dating with a Disability


Hello, Jhana’s supporters! It’s your disability advocate and writer, Jhana. I hope you’re all doing well. I’ve been swamped with school and had to pull a few all-nighters the last couple of weeks. Even though I set a time to write and post my articles, it is still hard to keep up with the schedule because one of my classes requires me to turn my assignments in on Saturdays and Sundays every week. Luckily, I only have two more weeks of this class. Lately, I’ve been working on my articles when I have time. That’s why it’s more random, but I will still try to post every Thursday at 10 AM. Now, let's get to today’s topic. 


In today’s blog article, I want to talk about the importance of having no limits when you have a disability. 


Understanding the Landscape: Dating and Disability


Being in a relationship can be frightening for everyone. But being in a relationship with a disability is even more frightening. A disability can create a fair amount of challenge. To understand dating with a disability, you have to be aware of the stigma and misconceptions that come with it. It’s crucial to create a space for a partner with a disability and find ways to connect with them. That’s why finding someone who sees past your disability is crucial. 


Being in a relationship with someone who has a disability means educating others about it. Every person is different, so what might be a non-issue for one person could be a significant obstacle for another. It’s essential to be open-minded when in a relationship. You should approach dating with openness and understanding, no matter who you’re with. 


It took me a while to open up about my disability to men. In high school, I gave a guy a glimpse of my disability. I never really told anyone about it besides that. It wasn’t until I lived with a first guy who was much older than me. When I had a shunt revision in 2016, he realized he didn’t want to deal with someone with a disability and did not want me to get the proper care I needed even though I had symptoms. In his head, I was seeking attention. So, he got mad when one of my PCPs wanted me to see a neurosurgeon. Since the guy didn’t want me to see one, my doctor told him that I had to because I had my shunt for 26 years, and it was time to get it replaced. He wasn’t all that pleased, but I had my shunt revision anyway. After that, he did not want to take care of me. That all changed when I met the guy that I am with now. Before he came to Hawaii to live with me, he looked up my disability. And that’s what makes a good relationship. Being in a committed relationship means loving unconditionally and educating yourself on the other person. 


Breaking Down Barriers: Communication and Misconceptions


What makes a great relationship is communication and understanding. You have to be there for each other regardless of any flaws. It also involves breaking down barriers and being open about your wants and needs. You also need to be a good listener and be understanding. It’s all about creating a great space for a relationship. Plus, being honest about your disability may boost your self-confidence. 


Many non-disabled individuals have misconceptions and think that people who have a disability should not be with someone who is “normal” like they are. What I mean by the misconceptions is that society thinks people who have a disability should be with someone who also has a disability. Also, when someone doesn’t have a physical disability, society sees them as someone without any disability. They choose what they see as a disability. On the bright side, through open communication, couples can build a stronger bond based on mutual respect and understanding.



Via Image Google

Thursday, September 12, 2024

Understanding the complications of Hydrocephalus




Hello, Jhana’s supporters! It’s your disability advocate and writer, Jhana. I started a new class on Tuesday and have nine more classes left until graduation. I am so excited! I am still working on my book, but it’s taking a while. I don’t know exactly when I’ll release it, but it’s definitely coming.


September is Hydrocephalus Awareness Month, so I want to talk about what hydrocephalus is, the different types, and my experience with it. I can only speak for myself and my hydrocephalus. 



What is Hydrocephalus?


Hydrocephalus is an accumulation of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) within the ventricles of the brain. The buildup can increase pressure inside the skull, leading to various physical and neurological issues. 


Hydrocephalus can be congenital, meaning it can be present at birth, or it can develop later in life due to an infection, injury, or tumors. 


Common Complications Associated with Hydrocephalus


Hydrocephalus can come with a range of complications that affect both the brain and overall health. The complications will vary depending on age and the severity of the condition. 


Common complications can include developmental delays in children, learning disabilities, memory problems, and physical coordination issues. It can also lead to vision problems.


Neurological Impact of Hydrocephalus


The neurological impact of hydrocephalus can be severe. The pressure of hydrocephalus can damage brain tissue, leading to cognitive impairments and emotional difficulties. For example, people can experience problems with attention, problem-solving, and executive functioning. Hydrocephalus can also cause emotional and behavioral changes, such as mood swings, irritability, and, in some cases, severe depression. 


Physical Symptoms and Challenges


Hydrocephalus can present in a lot of ways. Common signs include headaches, nausea, vomiting, and balance problems. In infants, it can cause large head size, bulging fontanelles, and a downward gaze, known as ‘sunsetting eyes.’ 


Adults and older children may experience difficulty walking, urinary incontinence, and decreased mental function. These physical challenges can significantly affect daily life, causing individuals to require ongoing support. 


Long-Term Management and Treatment Options

In most cases, surgeries are required to manage hydrocephalus. The most common one includes inserting a shunt system that releases to another body part. This is the kind that I have. I have a VA shunt, and my tube goes from my head to my abdomen. 


Another option is endoscopic third ventriculostomy (ETV), which is a procedure creating a new pathway for CSF flow. Long-term management can include regular monitoring and follow-up care to address any complications or shunt malfunctions.  


My Hydrocephalus Story


I was born with Hydrocephalus as well as Spina Bifida. However, since September is Hydrocephalus Awareness Month, I want to focus only on this condition.


I weighed 2 pounds and 3 ounces at birth, and I also arrived two months early. Before I was born, the doctors gave my mom and the rest of my family the worst-case scenario. They said I wouldn’t be able to walk, talk, and essentially make it through life. My shunt was inserted when I was seven months old, lasting for 26 years. Then, I had to have a shunt revision in 2016 since my shunt stopped working. I was very lucky. The doctor said at least eight months’ worth of water (Hydrocephalus) wasn’t properly drained. If a few more months passed, I would have died. So I was very fortunate. Because of this disability, I have a learning disability and have to be taught differently.


If I were to give someone with Hydrocephalus advice, I would tell them not to stop fighting. You never know the outcome and how things might turn out. I would not change my life for anything or anyone. Just because you have Hydrocephalus does not mean you can’t do what you set your mind to. For example, I am a published author, and I am in school. I have a GPA above 3.0, and I graduate next year. So, everything’s possible.


Via Image Google


Friday, August 30, 2024

Conquering Embarrassment while Living with a Disability

Hello, Jhana’s supporters! It’s your disability advocate and writer, Jhana. I hope you’re all doing well. 


In this article, I want to talk about the embarrassment of having a disability when you’re around your family and how you can cope with that embarrassment. 


Understanding the Embarrassment of a Disability


Embarrassment can stem from a lot of sources when you live with a disability. Social stigma and misconception can play a role, leading individuals to feel self-conscious or ashamed of how their disability affects them. These feelings are a natural response but don’t make you less of a person.


On Saturday, I went to my nephew's second birthday party. Everything went great, and I had a great time with my family. I loved seeing my nephew smile, which brought me lots of joy. 


Finally, it was time to go home. My brother and sister-in-law drove up and waited for Rob and me. As I walked down the stairs, my little sister helped me because I had a tough time. I felt light-headed as I hit the last step. It was really hot, and I was sweating badly. 


Then, I needed help getting in our van. I tried every way to get in. First, I tried stepping up to the van. Then, I tried scooting my butt up to the seat. I even tried to put my knees on the van’s floor to lift myself to the seat, but nothing worked. After 10 minutes of sitting on the van floor, Rob helped me walk to the curb. I was still dizzy and had difficulty walking, so my brother and Rob were helping me walk towards the van, ensuring I made it inside before we left. My brother turned the AC directly towards me so I could cool down. That worked a bit, but I still felt dizzy when we got home. 


Your disability can contribute to embarrassment if you don’t accept your faults and don’t think positively. But if you understand your difficulties, you won’t feel embarrassed about what you can’t control. 


Building Confidence Through Self-Acceptance


Self-acceptance is an excellent step in building confidence and not feeling embarrassed when unforeseen circumstances happen. Accepting your disability for what it is can be empowering. My other half often says to me, “Your disability is not who you are; you make who you are.” This goes to say that you should acknowledge your strengths even though you have a challenging disability day. That's just it: It’s just another day that your disability has a bad moment. Like many say, “I’m having a bad Spina Bifida day.” 


You should practice self-worth by being positive about your disability. It’s also a good idea to cultivate flattering self-talk so you can embrace your unique qualities. Another thing worth doing is practicing self-confidence as often as you can. This shift in mindset can improve how you look at yourself and help you respond to challenging days more effectively. 


Practical Tips for Handling Awkward Situations


It’s nearly impossible to avoid awkward situations. So, arming yourself with helpful strategies might be beneficial. For example, you can practice responding to others when you have embarrassing moments. This can reduce anxiety and help you be comfortable with your interactions. 


You can also use humor as a way to cope with embarrassing moments. It’s okay to make light of an awkward situation and set boundaries. That way, you can let others know what makes you comfortable and what doesn’t.


Leveraging support Systems and Resources


Support systems like friends, family, and disability advocacy groups are crucial. They help support you emotionally, giving you a shoulder to lean on. Personally, I don’t ask for help because I usually get easily embarrassed. So, I’m still working on it myself.



There are so many other resources you should also take advantage of. These include support groups and online communities, among others. These resources can guide you and introduce you to others who share your difficulties. 


Celebrating Personal Milestones and Growth


You should celebrate your achievements, no matter how big or small, as it leads to a more positive outlook on life. You should applaud your progress even if no one else does. 


Lastly, acknowledging your growth can boost your self-esteem and motivate you to strive for your desired goals. Every milestone is an opportunity to try harder, so keep being determined.



Via Image Pexels



Healing Together: Strategies for Couples Dealing with Depression

Hello, Jhana’s supporters! It’s your disability advocate and writer, Jhana. I hope you’re all doing well. To be completely honest, posting c...